What About Noticing Divine Moments of Opportunity?

Prayer Garden.

Humid.
Grey.
Leaves.
Changing Colors.
Red. Orange. Brown. Green.
Wind Rustling.
Train Bustling.
Perfume Scent.
Patches of Grass Gone.
Dirt.
Little Ant Piles.
Gravel Path.
Hard Bench.
Tall Cross Three in a Row.
Bushes. Full.
Bird Chirps.
Buzzing Past My Ear.
Cars Drive By.
Student's Coming and Going.

Life is always happening. The world doesn't stop spinning. But God touched my heart with the encouragement that He never stops either. He is with us in the still moments. But He is still there in our movements. I can go all day with out stopping, and it never occurs to me that He is there too. We don't have to slow down to see Him around us. It just helps to stop everyone in a while and from the outside looking in, see the world around us.

I always get upset in the cafeteria because it never fails that someone runs into me because they were not watching where they were going. Once, someone ran into my plate and spilled corn juice down my pants and all over my hands holding the plate. I was so upset because it's like... Hello?? Can't you just watch where you are going?! This is what I was convicted of this morning. Can't I just really watch where I am going?

What About Evangelism?

I grew up in a private Christian school. In the gym, alongside championship banners, hung the many "Souls Saved" banners of seniors who came before me. They not just encouraged me, but also haunted me. Seeing all my predecessors who were so successful at evangelizing, yet I could not get up the guts to tell someone else about Jesus...

I still can't. The last time I shared the gospel of Jesus Christ was with a youth in my youth group. It was easy and comfortable. I knew her. She knew me. I was not telling her anything new, and at Youth Camp, everyone gets the picture. I just helped her along in the prayer.

The biggest fear I have with evangelism is being turned down, or rejection. I am so passionate about my love for my Savior, when others do not feel the same way, I get my feelings hurt. It is part of the fear of rejection, not just of what I have to say, but also rejection of my Jesus. Secondly, I don't put myself in evangelism opportunities. I do not seek people who do not know Jesus. Placing myself in situations of evangelism requires people who do not know Jesus. Here at ETBU, its hard to tell.

I can be more faithful by stepping off campus and work in lives who really need Jesus, no matter what their attitude towards the Gospel may be. I should be comforted with the idea that Jesus loves us ALL, no matter what. Even those who reject him...

The writings of Francis of Assisi really challenged me in the fact that he had 2 choices: live his life in prayer, or live his life in evangelism. There were no grey area choices for him. It was not both... To him, it was either or. He sincerely sought out his friends and confidants to pray for him. That is the next thing that really challenged me: Brother Masso "quickly had God's answer". How did he know? That is so hard for me! And then when he told Francis that God told him He wanted Francis to go and preach, Francis believed him and went and did it! Now that is faith in not only God, but a true and genuine friend.

My favorite part of Watchman Nee's writing is how beautifully he puts reaching out to "touch God". He gives the examples of not only the sick woman who reached to touch Jesus's feet in a large crowd and was healed, but also the thief on the cross who asked Jesus to remember him in heaven. It is so encouraging to know that yes, evangelism is hard, but it is not really up to us to change someone's heart. That someone has to want to reach out. Like a drug addict, stuck in the addiction of his sin, but the addict has to WANT to quit, to ever really quit. Just as the sinner has to WANT to repent, to ever really be saved. It is usually said as just a joke but...

The first step is just admitting it.

You can get help from there. 

What About Easy And Hard?

For me, Jeremy Taylor's fourth rule comes most easy to me. I love to do good things in secret. I am through and through a lover, so I love to maintain the relationships with those I love by doing good deeds that go with out excessive notice. I have focused very hard on nurturing my need for being praised and now I find more joy in my good deeds than in the praises that come with them!

Conversely, Taylor's fourteenth rule comes to be the most hard for me to adhere to. It is so difficult to see what others have and not want that as well. I see so many fortunate people all around me, and I often think, "gee, why can't my life be more like theirs? They easily have no worries..." I know I should not do that, but that is my greatest habit to kick. 

What About Where I Came From?

Cold, rainy day.
Quiet car ride from Dallas to Houston.
Not much more than a chicken coop.
Crying baby.
No dad in sight.

That is my Granddad's recounts of when he came and rescued me from a terrible situation when I was less than a year old. He always tears up, and I always tear up knowing I was ever in such a poor situation. But my Granddad loved me so much, he came down there with his truck, loaded me and my birth mother up, and took us back to Dallas.

From there I was adopted, given back, adopted, been through a divorce, one parent lives out of state now. But my attitude towards life has never changed. Sure bad things have happened to me, but it only makes my testimony stronger.

Most people would think I would be ashamed and uneasy to talk about these things to, but no, I have a full open door policy, because I never know whose life I could impact by telling them where I have been and how God has brought me up out of it! Amen!

Though being financially poor for a while was hard, I was never left wanting again. I will admit that my adolescence was plagued with peers around me in designer clothes and brand new cars. That is difficult for any young person who can not readily afford it.

But amidst all this angst, I have learned to save and spend wisely. Financially I am better off today than I was a few years ago, all because of the lessons my past has taught me! 

What About Self-Denial

Last night I was watching coverage on E-News of Kim K's divorce. It is all over Twitter. It is in the news. It is in printed newspapers and magazines. All with-in hours after the divorce papers were served. I think this is a perfect example of what the world is telling us is acceptable and cool.

It is ok to spend your youth squandering money.
Money gives you happiness.
Moral values are a thing of the past.
A "cool" lifestyle is one of clubbing, parties, drugs, and sex.
Marriage is superficial and does not last very long any ways.

My list could go on, but these are the things that come to mind.

What this event is teaching us is that all those things I listed are ok to do! They want us to conform to the lifestyles and ignorant ways they follow. What is the purpose in their lives?! What are their goals?! Do they live for nothing but to spend money, make more money, and then spend it again? Fame and fortune are nothing.

This is where our humility is lacking. The media tells us "more...more...", but Christ tells us "Me... Me..."

“If we are not our own, but the Lord’s, it is clear to what purpose all our deeds must be directed… We are God’s own; to him, therefore, let us live and die," says John Calvin. 

Philippians 2:5 tells us, "in your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus."

We are called to a Christ life style. Not to be influenced by the media. Or especially Kim K. 

Die to self. Live in Christ.